Sunday, 2 August 2015

Lullabies Of Dark

What were your last thoughts
As you breezed through the darkness to sleep?
I wonder
Wishing to see you through the dark
Your smile that walked with you to sleep

I sing
Amma. Her voice, echoing within me
Distant. Nearer than the past
The same old couplet, I sing
I pick the words wrapped in love
Place them in my sky
And watch them shimmer, my stars
Were you lighting up yours too?
A sky?

The fingers.
Mine. Yours. Ours.
We share a silence, a pause
Only your breath speaks
My heart records
Capturing the moment, forever
My lullaby. Your breath. Our silence.
Voice sans noises

Were you feeling safe?
Were you feeling loved?
My fingers trace a smile on you
And I,
Breathe to your rhythm
And lay awake, as you sleep

For those million times
You wrapped your arms around a void
The thousand times your eyes searched for me
My voice, to give words to the voices screaming inside you
For the moments that couldn’t be spent with you

As I drift off to another sky with the clouds
A promise, I leave
The moon will sing for you
My lullabies of dark
And we’ll share our sky
Memories. Moments. And the shimmering stars. 

Thursday, 4 June 2015

Strangers Still

I widen my lips
But the mirror frowns
I push my eyes to the spring
To the corner of memories
They rush back to join the lips
The mirror smiles

You saw my smiles 
A few tales of mine you read
But never did you taste the blood that inked them
And yet you say you know me 
But, we – strangers still

Cause you never saw my scars
The darkness, a blinding deafness
My tears, a violent deep blue sea
My fears, choking roots of an old oak
Whose remnants - scary

I never talked to you those nights 
I abandoned myself in the dark
My fingers went past you scrolling through the contacts 
To end up in silence

You know not my wounds, but, 
The pale left over skin that stretched itself to mask it
Yet you say you want to heal my wounds
The wounds my eyes told only to the night sky 

Read my tears etched in the emptiness amidst the stars
You would, I wish
Only if you could!

As you go around trying to paint the dying leaves green
I stop you
Spill the colors and set fire to your brush
Crumpling yellow – sigh of the fall 
Its beauty, dearer to me

I put them down on paper
The scars. Darkness. Tears and fears. 
Send them to you

My paper boats smile
Sailing through the rain puddles
They whisper their worries
Will they reach you? 

The wet words, would you understand them? 
Blurred, scattered, raw thoughts
Would you run your fingers through those piercing pieces
And paint my heart together?
If you could we could remain not strangers

If. If. If. 

The irony laughs
And strangers, still we remain

a void that
never could be 

Monday, 13 April 2015


Rituparno Ghosh.
Aiswarya Rai Bachhan. Ajay Devgun.
Music of Debajyoti Mishra
This is no review, but what I scribbled after having watched it. But yeah, I did love the movie. A lot.

The rain that once used to wove poetry in our hearts
Today, fell a little heavy
Was it that the raindrops ran out of passion
Or was it my tears? Were you crying too?
Only if a night I would wake up
In a world where the words we painted were true

And the world of hurting reality
Would be a mere fantasy to be left behind
Lost in the wrong world

But those hollow castles we built seemed so colourful
Those you adorned with tails of rainbows
Shooting stars and dried petals
Ah! Black and white were colours too
And never did I love lies more

The raindrops cling on to the window bars
As we do to our fables of joy
Reluctant to leave hold was a last drop
The last bundle of lie
I leave them safe within
Never knowing you too had left me one

Sunday, 5 April 2015


The day I stopped searching for your face in the moon
The moon, soaked in blood with the shades of an artist’s mischief,
You smiled at me
The deep red lucky seeds of laughter I buried hidden from the world
Grew to touch the skies, I felt!

A childhood I thought was lost within a half smile in a broken mirror,
Wasn't lost after all!

And someone whom I thought had died within, whom I distanced lightyears apart,
I found her.

In the wordless sigh of the fallen leaves that crumpled beneath the world’s feet        
In the words that rose as smoke from the pages I burnt, craving to burn memories

In the life I saw unravelling out there
In the dark smoke left behind by the pacing wheel, remnants of an endless wait
In the hope the engine’s hum filled me with

In the beat my heart skipped hearing a smile bloom, miles away
In the silence that followed my favourite song
In the tales a wrinkled hand wove for me in her roary

In the nights I slept hugging the scent that lingered in an old saree
In the belief that the bindis Ma left in the mirror hid all the love in the world within its circle
In the stories only the pillow, I cried the night and heart out to, knew of
In the poetry of waves that whispered to me as I close my eyes
In the world of colours of mine I found within bubbles

In the tears shed for a single broken chappal stained with blood
In the last breathe of a ghungru that killed itself for missing a beat
In the rhythm it taught my soul
In the night that lurked beyond the neon lighted streets, in the blackness
In the shadow’s dance

In the reflection of mine I saw in the tears the leaves shed for the rain that slithered through
In the wrappers I treasure in memory of those moments someone came by
Offering love wrapped in chocolate
In those stars, long dead, who waited for me in the sky
To sing for me a last song, just for me

I found myself

In them lingered a silly girl, her toothless smile.
A crazy child, who heard the songs her heart sang
From the million things she loved,
The million things she gave herself to,
A bit late

A silly, crazy child!

Sunday, 8 March 2015

A Letter To You - 2

This post has been published by me as a part of the Blog-a-Ton 52; the fifty-second edition of the online marathon of Bloggers; where we decide and we write. In association with Metro Diaries by "Namrata". To be part of the next edition, visit and start following Blog-a-Ton.

Letters are always special. And trust me, nothing more than a handwritten letter can be a wonderful gift. It feels beautiful to know that someone out there penned down their heart in a piece of paper, smeared them with shades of the ink and addressed it to you.
And, rain is my love! (That would explain this letter)

To you,

Between all those words you whispered to me and those you smothered within you, I found myself. The words with which you adorned my world have breathed in life to me. Your tears that kissed my eyes reminds me of myself, of whom I had forgotten. And in return, words, I too want to gift you.
Beyond my colours you adore, there is a darkness. My tale.

Colours. They were everywhere. Around. Within. The lush green that bore a drop of dew on her bosom. The gushing blue who mirrored me. The morning yellow who caressed me. The red who bloomed for love. The brown who laboured me, whom I snuggled into during my final moment. The orange of the fall who carpeted my home. The darkness who told me of my love. The slight, gay darkness who shaded my love. Shaded me. Shaded us. Our union.

Ever felt complete, have you? The day he poured out his soul to me, I did. I remember you telling me of how once you were afraid of darkness, of depths. And how you found love in those dark depth of eyes. Darkness used to scare me too. But only till he came along.

For the world, it was the season that had changed. For me, my life. My world of colours was smeared with his remnants. My heart blossomed out feathers. Spread them to embrace him. His music echoed within me. The rhythm to which I whirled and twirled and frolicked with joy.

Living the ecstasy, all I wished was for the time to halt. But he left me alone in the numbing cold. Doubts shadowed  me. Did I then cease to exist? I shaded with hues of longing the void he left. And a night, I snuggled into the quilt of brown. To a world of silence.

It was from there you found me. Shrunk to a feather my heart had by then. Away from the colours, away from my past, his remnants, you hid me in your little world of words. From screaming silence to your sighing poetry you took me.

Today I felt him. The darkness. His moist lips. In a new life, born as your tears, he had come for me. And after all those seasons who went by, I felt complete. Again.

Between all those words you whispered to me and those you smothered within you, I found myself. Your tears that kissed my eyes breathed in life to me. And in return these words are all that I have for you.

Beyond my colours you adore, is the tale of mine. My darkness.


The fellow Blog-a-Tonics who took part in this Blog-a-Ton and links to their respective posts can be checked here. To be part of the next edition, visit and start following Blog-a-Ton. Participation Count: 03

Monday, 23 February 2015


Countless nights I wake up
In middle of my bleak dreams
Haunting me
And my broken sleep
The world so still, I alone in my trail

I search for you, around and everywhere
Nothingness but I find
They slash my wounds afresh to bleed
The hurting. The pain.

Pain too is strange
Beauty of numbness it brings in
And I feel none of it, or so I believe
No more of wounds can hurt me
No more depths can scare me, I think
Think. Believe. Lie to myself.

And I linger lost between
A clock that paces forward and
Time that have froze

I search for you, to find everything yours
But you evade!

The book with a hundred corners folded
Pages that whispered to you the same tale a thousand times over
Craves for one more time
For your fingers to caress the creases
For you
To kiss its words, that is losing its luster to dust
A last chance. A final reading.

Your silver lined mirror rests on the wall
Staring beyond me
The void you left, hard to reflect
It longs for you
To stand there, check out postures and smiles
Yell. Talk. Console. To guide the reflection
For one last time
 To capture you within its transparency

The pillow that misses the hugs
The kisses and the fights
The pampering and the tears
For you were all it had

Me. My broken heart.
Past. Memories. Promises.
Yours, I too
Is all that is left behind

With my eyes closed I search for you, within me
To find you there
Your smile
Your pale forehead still moist from my last kiss
Wishing I too could sleep forever, as you

Unlike me
The needles of time do move on
The night does dawn
And as I wake up looking for you
In a corner bleeds love!